


3's A Charm IV: De Profundis

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-05
Updated: 2002-02-05
Packaged: 2018-11-20 17:46:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11340309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: After the break up, Ben comes back in to their lives and messes things up even more.





	3's A Charm IV: De Profundis

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

3's A Charm IV: De Profundis

## 3's A Charm IV: De Profundis

#### by Ocean Summers and Sage ONeil

Title: 3's A Charm IV: De Profundis  
Author: Ocean Summers and Sage ONeil  
Feedback to:   
Author's Website:   
Status: Complete  
Category: Romance  
Pairing (Primary): Mulder/Scully/Krycek  
Pairing(s) (Secondary):   
Crossover Fandom (if any):   
Crossover Info (if any):   
Other Pairing Info:   
Rating: NC-17  
Spoilers:   
Permission to Archive:   
Series or Sequel/Prequel:   
Notes: I know you've all waited a *long* time for this, I hope it was worth it. You'll just have to read for yourselves and find out <g> Thanx to The Emu and Elisabeth my two wonderful Beta Readers. This story would not be what it is, if it wasn't for them <g>  
Warnings:   
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters (except for Ben Julien, he is ours) they belong to Chris Carter and FOX Network, you know the drill.  
Summary: After the break up, Ben comes back in to their lives and messes things up even more.

* * *

3's A Charm: De Profundis  
By Ocean Summers and Sage O'Neil 

The memory of the scene in Krycek's living room remained vivid in his memory as he arrived at his own empty apartment. One part of him wanted to go back and make it all right again, as the other part told him strongly to let it be. That was the part that kept reminding him of how much grief it would bring him, how hurt he could end up being if he didn't let it go. 

For the first time in weeks, he curled up on his couch, trying to shut everything out. The utter silence and the absence of soft, even breathing mingling in the night drove him to a point he hadn't let himself go to yet. 

He started to cry. He started to sob into his pillow as he realized what he'd done and what he would have to do. 

* * *

Mulder had been away for almost a week before he returned to the office. Scully looked surprised; clearly, she wasn't really prepared to see him standing there in the doorway, as though nothing had happened. She tried to read his eyes as he smiled, said 'good morning' and promptly went over to the file cabinet. 

"So," she started with caution. "Have you thought things through?" 

He turned to look at her, a pensive expression in his face. He should have known she would wonder. But he'd thought she'd wait a little longer before asking him. The answer was not going to please her. 

"Scully, I don't really feel like talking about it." 

She got up and walked over to him. Sensing that she would be impossible to deal with until they got this out of their systems, Mulder sighed, showing her just how little he wanted to discuss this. She didn't care. 

"You know Mulder, keeping quiet doesn't solve anything. We need to talk." 

All he did was to stare at her, a part of his mind knowing all too well how right she was. The problem was that he didn't want to admit it. So he ignored her. Or at least he tried. 

"Mulder, I'm talking to you." 

Looking up to meet her eyes, he sensed that she would be persistent. That was the last thing he needed. With a sigh, he threw the file on top of his desk and headed out for the door. 

"Mulder, where are you going?" she grabbed his arm, now a little angry. 

"Scully," he began, looking down at the floor. "I need to get out of here. It was a mistake to return this early." 

Nevertheless, she held his arm for a while, hoping he'd turn around and change his mind or at least tell her something that would ease the pain she was going through. But he didn't even look at her. She let go. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and hurried out of there. 

* * *

Leaning against the brick wall, he lit up a cigarette. He should have been here 10 minutes ago and Ben was growing restless. This was not acceptable, not even for them. 

Glancing at his watch again, he sighed inwardly, promising himself that this would be the last job he did for them. You could only misplace information for so long and his fellow agents were going to be suspicious. 

A man was closing up to him and he could tell from the way he walked that it was him. He followed him into the alley. 

"Ben," the man stated. 

Ben gave him a nod and threw away his cigarette. 

"You're late." 

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" the man asked with a grin. 

Ben sighed and glared at him. He wasn't in the mood for chitchat. 

"So did you bring me anything?" he asked instead, rushing the conversation. 

The man dug inside his coat and pulled out a brown envelope. 

"Here you go, pal," he said, seemingly amused. 

"Thanks." Ben accepted the gift. 

Opening the envelope, he was irritated that his informer didn't go away. He looked up at him. 

"Was there something else?" 

"Don't do anything foolish, Ben, you know what will happen." 

"And what is that?" 

"Don't be stupid, you know what I'm talking about. I wouldn't lose sight of my purpose if I were you." 

Ben grew even more irritated. "Why don't you just mind your own business? Maybe you should look out for yourself before you pass any judgment." 

"And what the hell is that suppose to mean?" 

"I've seen the way you look at her. They don't like that, do they? I mean, that wasn't your assignment, was it?" 

"You just focus on yours and I'll focus on mine." 

"Works fine with me." Ben arched a brow. "So, see you Monday then." 

Cardinal nodded and turned to leave, walking slowly down the alley. 

* * *

She found him on the couch, deep in thought. He probably hadn't even heard her enter the apartment. 

"Hi, honey," she said with a smile, and she kissed him softly. 

"Hi." He sounded a little drowsy as he sat up to make room for her. "I didn't hear you come in." 

"I noticed." She sat down beside him. 

A little more at ease, he circled his arm around her. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. 

"How was work today?" he asked, and she knew what he was referring to. 

"Can't we just go to bed, I'm really tired," she said softly and started moving away from him. 

"He came back today, didn't he?" he cut her off, forcing her to look at him. 

"Alex --" 

"What did he say?" 

She saw the hope in his eyes mixed with the fear of what he was denying to himself and wished for nothing else than to tell him that everything was all right, that Mulder was coming over any minute to apologize for his confused behavior and return to them. But that would have been a lie. 

"Let's not talk about that now," she said, smiling, and she took his hand. "Let's just go to bed." 

"No." He held her hand tighter as she tried to get off the couch. "I want to know what he said. I need to know." 

Swallowing hard, she adjusted herself to face him. His gaze was a mixture of hope and fear as she caressed his cheek. With a swift motion, she leaned forward and gave him a kiss. 

"We can't give up yet," she said and forced a smile. "He'll just need some more time to think things through, and when he has, he will realize what he wants." 

He looked at her and nodded. They just had to give it some time, that was all it needed. Some time and then it would be all right again. 

* * *

Skinner looked at him over the desk as he had finished reading the file. He didn't really get the picture here. Last time Agent Julien had been in his office, he had gotten the impression that he wasn't too fond of Agent Mulder. Now he was requesting to work with him. 

"Sir?" Ben felt suspicion in the air and he knew about the special relationship the assistant director had with Mulder and Scully. 

Of course, a case like this could use someone like Mulder's background. 

"Yes, Agent Julien, this looks in order," Skinner said and handed him the file again. "I will inform Agent Mulder." 

"Thank you, sir." 

The two men eyed each other for a second, one curious and the other totally calm in his place. 

"That will be all," Skinner broke first. "You're excused." 

Ben gave Skinner a quick nod before he got up and left. 

* * *

He had been ignoring her all day. If it hadn't been by reading a file, it had been by talking on the phone or by typing. When ever he could, he would send her out, and by the time the third autopsy request landed on her desk that day, she knew she had to do something about it. 

"Mulder, we need to talk about this," she told him bluntly. 

"I'm busy." 

"Yeah, well, I don't really care," she said, rising from her seat. "This is important." 

He looked up at her and sighed out loud. Why couldn't she just let it go? 

"You know, this is not going to work out if you keep ignoring me." She stood to face him. 

He sighed again, louder this time, and avoided her gaze. 

"If you're that interested, maybe I should request for a transfer," she stated, finally seeing him flinch. 

So it still meant something to him. 

"Scully." He looked up but didn't meet her eyes. "I don't want to stop working with you. I just need some space, okay?" 

He rose, ready to leave. 

"Where are you going?" She couldn't believe this. 

"I'm just going out for a while." 

"Why are you running away?" she stepped in his way. "This is not you, Mulder." 

"Scully, please. Just let me go." 

She looked at him, meeting his familiar eyes, knowing that he could see the tears threatening to break out in hers. 

"Mulder, why can't you just talk to him?" she asked, her voice breaking. "He's-- he's--" 

"I don't care how he is," he cut her off. "I don't care how he feels, now will you just let me go by?" 

One tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away in pure frustration. 

"Do you still love me?" 

"Scully --" 

"Do you?" 

He gave her one look and she knew -- she'd known all along. 

"Do you love Alex?" she had a pretty good idea that she was pushing it. 

"For chrissake, Scully," he said, trying to move past her, but as she didn't move, and he didn't want to hurt her. 

"Mulder, he --" she looked at him, not sure of how to put this for him not to hit the roof. "He loves you so much. This is destroying him. You have to talk to him." 

For a moment, she thought she saw something there, something to give her hope. He closed his eyes as if denying himself what he wanted to feel. Then he moved past her and left her there, standing alone in the small basement office with nothing left to hope for. 

* * *

Roaming through the corridor in the section he usually tried to keep away from, he bumped into Assistant Director Skinner coming back from lunch. 

"Agent Mulder." 

/Got to trust that instinct to avoid this area. / Mulder smiled despite himself. 

"Sir?" 

"I would like to talk to you." 

Mulder nodded slowly, not really knowing what he had done now. Usually, he knew when he was going to get a lecture from his supervisor, but as things were, he had kept a rather low profile of late. Maybe too low. 

Inside Skinner's office, he took a seat, trying to figure out what was coming next. Skinner sat down quietly and looked across the desk at him. 

"I've assigned you to work with another agent on a case that could need your expertise," he announced, taking out a file from his drawer. 

"Yes, sir," Mulder reached out to take the file that had been handed to him. "Is it an X-file?" 

"No." Skinner looked at him over the desk. He was surprised Mulder hadn't been more unwilling to work with another agent aside from Agent Scully. Most of the time when that occurred, they both put up a fuss. "Actually you're just to work on the profile and then the VCS will take over." 

Mulder opened the file and went through it briefly. It looked in order 

"I trust you'll go and see Agent Julien as soon as you are available." 

That got his attention. His head came up sharply. "Ben Julien?" 

"Yes." Skinner looked serious. "Why? Is that a problem?" 

"Uh, no," Mulder mumbled again and looked at the file in his lap. "I guess not." 

"Then I expect you to report to Agent Julien as soon as you see fit." Skinner tried to read the younger man's reaction. "Report to me when you're done." 

Mulder nodded, not giving Skinner much to go on but a very unsettling hunch. 

* * *

Krycek gathered enough courage to knock on Mulder's door, half-hoping he wouldn't be home. If he wasn't, he wouldn't have to take the fall just yet. But he had to do something about this; he couldn't just sit around. 

Mulder wasn't prepared to see him standing there. He fought hard to make the mistake of inviting him in. That would be a sure way to ensure them ending up in bed. Truth was, he wouldn't be able to resist him. So he slammed the door shut in his face, shutting out the image of Krycek's hurt expression. 

Okay, so it wasn't going exactly according to plan, Krycek had to admit to himself, but he wouldn't give in this easily. Feeling hurt and a little stupid, he knocked once more. 

"What do you want?" Mulder asked through the door determined not to open it again. 

"I just want to talk to you." Krycek felt foolish, standing there talking to a door. "Can you please open the door?" 

Silence. 

"We have nothing to talk about." 

Krycek swallowed and forced back the tears. How was he going to be able to win him back if he wouldn't even talk to him? 

"Mulder, please." He didn't care that he sounded needy. "Just open the door." 

Inside, leaning against the door, Mulder heard his former lover's voice break as he spoke. It made his heart ache but he couldn't -- he wouldn't make himself open the door. If he did, he would have to answer to him, and he wasn't ready for that. He didn't have the right answers for him. 

"Mulder?" 

He was going to be impossible, Mulder figured as much. Grabbing his jacket and car keys, he knew that this was a cheap move, but his only thought was on how to get rid of him. 

Krycek's heart swelled with hope as Mulder opened the door. His eyes told him nothing. 

"Thanks," Krycek smiled. 

Mulder said nothing, stepping out of his apartment with determination. 

Krycek was confused, his gaze flickering between the jacket to the keys in Mulder's hands. Did he want to go for a walk? Yeah, maybe that was better, that could give them a chance to clear their minds. 

"Where are we going?" he asked, walking beside him down the corridor. 

"I'm going out," Mulder said shortly, speeding up. 

"But --" Krycek reached out to touch Mulder's arm. 

Mulder stopped, shaking him off, his eyes deadly serious. 

"I told you not to touch me again." He still couldn't look at him. "Now can you just leave me alone?" 

Krycek watched him as he walked towards the elevator. The hope that had grown had been dashed in a second and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this disappointed. He could hardly breathe. 

Mulder disappeared in to the elevator, glad that Krycek couldn't see his face. 

* * *

"Coming!" Ben wiped off his hair with a towel, hanging it around his shoulders as he went to open the door. 

Mulder was staring back at him, his gaze evidently observing Ben's body. His cheeks turned red and he met Ben's smiling eyes, still angry over what he had done because of this man. 

"Come in," Ben said with a slight smile, pretending not to having noticed his gaze. "Make yourself at home. I'm just going to get dressed." 

Mulder didn't say much, just nodded and made his way into the large apartment. At first he had been surprised over how nice Ben's neighborhood was, but now, he was suspicious. The place was huge and obviously very expensively decorated. He didn't feel comfortable sitting down. 

After a few minutes, Ben came back wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, his hair still damp. He really did look great. Mulder reminded himself that he was a jerk, a two-timing jerk who had managed to break up a relationship in less than a week. But of course, he didn't know that. 

"Have a seat," he offered and sat down. 

Mulder sat down in an armchair. He still hadn't said anything; he felt guilty being there, even though he had a legitimate reason. This was in the line of duty, so to speak. 

"Look," Ben said, leaning forward. "I know we didn't exactly start off on the right foot, but when I work, I keep it professional." 

Mulder looked at him, keeping his gaze steady and calm, letting Ben read how little he believed what he was being told. 

Ben smiled, knowing he wasn't buying it. 

"You know, the reason I'm saying this to you is because of all the misunderstandings lately," he continued and tried to find a softer point in Mulder's gaze. "So if it makes you uncomfortable or if there is something you need to know, I suggest you take it up with me before we start because I don't like working with people who don't trust me." 

Their eyes met Mulder's filled with distrust. Krycek had told him all there was to know about this guy and he wasn't about to give him his trust just like that. Still, he didn't really know how much Krycek's words were worth. He had to respect Ben's honesty. 

"I take your silence as there is nothing to say, then," Ben said, smiled and leaned forward to fetch the file. "So let's get started then." 

Mulder eyed him for a while then decided to give this a shot, reaching out for a notepad. Ben smiled to himself. 

* * *

She rose from the couch as she heard him enter the apartment. Seconds later, he appeared in the doorway, looking absolutely devastated. 

"Alex," she whispered, walking up to him to take him in her arms. 

He leaned into her embrace and hugged her tight. What would he have done if it hadn't been for her? He owed her so much. 

"He didn't even want to talk to me," he said softly. "He just shut the door in my face." 

Scully closed her eyes, cursing Mulder to herself. He was being a jerk. When would he understand? Not everybody was involved in this conspiracy he so desperately needed to uncover, and he'd better realize that before he didn't have anyone left to trust. 

"I'll make some tea and we'll talk about it." 

He forced a smile as she met his eyes, caressing her hair in a gesture of gratitude. How she could be that calm was beyond him. If something didn't happen soon, he didn't know what he would do. A part of him took her calm as a good sign. She knew Mulder better than he did and maybe she felt that they would get back together, that everything would be all right. 

"It will be okay," she said with a smile, and placed the palm of her hand against his cheek. 

"Dana," he eyed her shyly. "I want you to know that I appreciate that you're still here with me." 

"I know," She leaned her forehead against his chest. "I know, Alex." 

/Because I feel the same way. / 

* * *

"Krycek, can I talk to you about something personal?" 

Krycek looked at his partner over the pictures they were studying. He looked serious, and Krycek could feel himself squirm inside. He didn't feel like talking about anything personal. 

Of course, Cardinal had heard the rumors that were circulating within the Bureau. Just about everyone had noticed the change of relationship between him and Mulder, and of course, they had their own versions about the matter. According to them, Mulder was pissed because he had found out that Krycek and Scully were sleeping together. 

Not that he cared one bit about the rumors one way or the other. 

"Sure." He forced a smile. 

Cardinal rubbed his chin, obviously not very comfortable with the subject himself. 

"I take it you know what they're saying about you around the office," he started carefully. 

Krycek nodded. "It's hard to avoid." 

"Well." Cardinal was still tiptoeing over the subject. "As your partner, you know that I don't really care what they say about you and this whole situation. What I'm trying to say is that I don't really believe in what people say, but if you need to talk, I'm here." 

Krycek was a little surprised over the offer at first. Not that they didn't have a good relationship, but usually that only involved work and not personal lives. He appreciated it though, and even if he wouldn't dream of telling Cardinal anything of what was really going on, he felt trust growing between them. 

* * *

Mulder was standing by the window, his thoughts somewhere else. Everything had taken such a strange turn. He had worked on the case with Ben for a couple of days now and he really enjoyed what they were doing together. He even enjoyed being around Ben, although he didn't really want to admit it to himself. Maybe he should just face those facts and stop denying himself a pleasure that obviously was trying to break free. It was just that he couldn't shake off that other image of him. The image created by Krycek. 

Glancing at the phone, he swallowed hard, forcing himself not to pick it up and call them. Sometimes he let himself think of them, what they were doing. He could picture them making love, Krycek's muscular body moving with Scully's. That photographic memory was torturing him to no end. Sometimes he wanted so much to call them. 

But he couldn't. He wouldn't. Not after what had happened between them. Which brought him back to another subject, Ben. Even if Krycek and Ben had been fooling around, Mulder had come to think of a very important fact. Ben didn't know that they had been together. Of course, according to Krycek, that wouldn't have stopped him, but if they had indeed done anything, what were Krycek's words worth? Maybe Ben wasn't the person Krycek portrayed him to be. 

He had thought a lot about this lately. 

At times as they were working together, he could feel Ben looking at him. He tried to pretend that he didn't notice, or that he didn't care, but when it came down to it, he did. He did notice and a part of him cared. A part of him allowed himself to like it. 

He was startled in his thoughts by a loud knock on the door. A little confused, he drew his hand through his hair and went up to answer it. 

"Ben?" 

"I hope I'm not coming too late," Ben said. "I just thought I'd drop by some, uh -- files." He gestured to the brown file in his hand. 

Mulder stared at the file and came back to his senses. 

"Come on in," he said, stepping aside. "You found something?" 

Ben followed him into the couch and watched him sit down. 

"I just needed to go through it with you before I made some changes," he explained, wondering if he should sit down beside him -- there didn't seem to be anywhere else to sit but next to Mulder. Now that was tempting. 

"Yeah, sure." Mulder tried not to look him in the eye. "Have a seat." 

With a little hesitation, Ben sat down closer than was really necessary. 

"I made some notes on page three and five -- if you could just --" he caught Mulder's gaze. "See that it's all right." 

Mulder nodded and wondered why he was reacting like he did. He had a very strange feeling in his stomach that was closing in on the area between his legs. Trying to shake it off, he flipped open the file and went through the pages. It looked good. Actually, it looked really good. Ben surprised him a lot; he was smart. 

"This is a good point -- I hadn't thought of that." Mulder pointed at a part he'd filled in. "We can work from this." 

"You think?" 

He sounded very enthusiastic, and Mulder looked at him with a smile, congratulating him on the good work. Their eyes locked for a moment, both all too aware of the thoughts behind them. Mulder shook off first. He wouldn't go there, no matter how tempted he was. It was simply wrong. 

"I think I can get some more sides to the profile with this new angle," Mulder said, abruptly changing the subject. "I'll see if I can finish this today or tomorrow." 

Ben looked down in his lap, suddenly melancholy. He realized that that would mean the end to them working together. Making sure that Mulder had noted his reaction, he moved on to the next step. 

"I've really enjoyed working with you," he lifted his gaze again, making sure Mulder was looking straight at him. "I mean really." 

"Yeah," Mulder agreed, surprised how much he actually meant that. "It's been nice." 

Taking a deep sigh, Ben was glad that things were going smoothly. Mulder was a lot easier to manipulate than he thought he would be. Of course, he was very vulnerable, easy to get to, and Ben was not afraid to use it. 

"You know, if you're interested, I have another case coming up that seems really interesting," he said very carefully, not risking the chance to push him. "I mean, if you have the time." 

Mulder didn't know what to say. He wanted to say yes. When he had walked into the case they were currently working on, he had been skeptical. Very skeptical, actually. His opinion of Ben Julien hadn't been exactly high. But the guy had grown on him; he had started to like him -- there was just something about him. 

"Ben interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, I understand if you want to work with Scully now that she's back. I won't be upset, it was just a thought." 

Scully. That was right. He had almost forgotten that he would have to go back to her after this. Now this other case was sounding like a really good idea. 

"Actually," he started, and bit his lower lip. "I'd love to." 

"You would?" Ben tried his best to sound surprised. 

"Yeah, just let me know when you get the files." 

/You're in, man, you're fucking in./ Ben tried to prevent a smug grin from breaking out. 

"I'll let you know as soon as I know anything more. You just drop that file off on my desk when you're ready and we can go through the conclusions together." 

Mulder smiled and gave him a quick nod. He hated to admit it, but he was looking forward to it. Really looking forward to it. 

* * *

Krycek felt a chill as he entered the apartment, wondering if they'd left a window open when they'd left that morning. They were both so out of it and it seemed as if they were constantly forgetting things, whether it was eating or turning off the coffee machine. 

"Dana!" he shouted, hoping she had already come home. He hated to be alone with his thoughts. 

Following the direction of the draft, he was surprised to see her out on the balcony, leaning over the railing. She turned to smile at him. He noted the cigarette in her hand as she took another puff, waving for him to join her. 

"I didn't know you were a smoker," he said as he approached her. 

She put out the cigarette in an ashtray and walked up to his embrace. 

"I'm not," she whispered and buried her face in his chest. 

With her body so close to his, he could feel how cold she was and held her tighter. 

"Dana, you're freezing." He nuzzled her hair. "You don't have to stand out here smoking. I don't mind." 

Nodding slowly, she just wanted to enjoy the feel of his body, the smell of him and the knowledge that he was there. 

"Come on, let's go inside." He reached out to take the ashtray and led her inside the apartment. "You were turning in to a Popsicle out there," he joked, hearing how Mulderish that sounded. 

Closing the door, he turned to look at her. She looked so sad and for the first time, it really hit him how much she was hurting, too. It wasn't that he hadn't known, he just hadn't had time to think about that, about her side of it. Now when he looked at her, he saw how tired she looked. All the tension was wearing her down. 

"Hey, why don't we do it like this," he said as he caressed her hair. "You draw yourself a bath and I'll make us some dinner." 

"Don't you want some help?" she offered, not comfortable letting him do all the work while she just luxuriated in the tub. 

"No." He smiled and held her closer. "I'll take care of it, you just relax and I'll go open a bottle of wine." 

* * *

Later she lay in the hot wonderful tub, a glass of wine in her right hand and tunes of Beethoven filling the room. It was as if every muscle in her body eased in the warmth of the water, her troubled mind dissipating up to the ceiling with the rest of the steam. 

Almost ready with dinner, he went to the bathroom, finding her as he had expected: Eyes closed, face free from worries and her body totally covered with foam. He kneeled behind her, placing his lips softly at the soft curve of her neck. She smiled and leaned against him. 

"How do you feel?" he asked and took the glass of wine from her hand. 

"Wonderful," she replied and met his eyes. 

He placed the glass beside him on the floor and started rubbing her shoulders gently. She moaned and tilted her head against his chest. Now this was heaven. 

After a while, he stopped, much to her disappointment, and went to the closet to get a big towel. She balked a little at getting out of the tub but knew she would have to sooner or later anyway. He offered her the towel as she rose. 

"Dinner's almost ready," he told her. "Take your time getting dressed and I'll set the table." 

She took out a pair of sweatpants and one of Krycek's big sweaters to wear, feeling the soft material warm against her skin. It was just perfect. 

They had a nice quiet little dinner and everything seemed to be complete. Beneath the idyllic appearance, something was not quite right. Mulder was still on their minds. 

"You are incredible," she told him and leaned into his embrace after she was finished. 

"You're not so bad yourself," he said, pulling her in for a hug. 

She pressed her face against his chest, letting out a content sigh. It felt good to have him, to be near him. The thought of being able to fall asleep in his arms every night gave her so much comfort when she was feeling down. 

"You smell great." He nibbled her ear softly. "Sexy," he added. 

She turned to meet his lips, feeling them teasing hers. She moved to straddle him on the couch, roaming her hands across his chest. He had such a beautiful body. 

His hands moved under her sweater. He could feel goosebumps break out on her as his fingers swept over the sensitive skin. She could feel the bulge in his pants and smiled against his lips. It had been such a long time since they'd made love. She missed it. 

Feeling her smile against his lips, he buried his face in her neck and held her closer, his lips working softly at her gentle curve. She moaned and rubbed herself against him. He had a way of being gentle and rough at the same time that just turned her on. Forcing him to look at her, she felt him seeking her lips almost violently. 

"Alex," she breathed and cupped his face. "Alex, I want you to make love to me." 

He kissed her softly. 

"I was planning to." 

She grinned and kissed him back. 

"Yes, I realize," she said as she ran a hand through his very short hair. "But I want you to make love to me in the bedroom. Slowly," she kissed him again. "And sweet," another kiss. "Very sweet." 

"Well," and he kissed her lingeringly. "Be careful what you wish for." 

The softness of the sheets surrounded her body. He had worked his way from her toes and up, ignoring her center, moving up to her full breasts. His hot lips were working at her hardened nipples. She moaned softly, feeling his erection jerk against her leg. He moved down again, rolling his tongue around her navel for a while, letting his hand move down and caress her where she wanted him too. 

After a while, he moved down further, spreading her legs apart. First he lifted her leg and started kissing the inside of her thigh, very slowly, very carefully. She whimpered and raised her aching part against him. 

"Alex," she whispered, her voice almost too quiet. 

He let go of her leg. He spread her lips apart and made room for his careful tongue to tease the hardened bud until she squeezed the sheets and let out a low moan. 

Looking up at her, he could see her with her head pressed against the pillow, the red hair spread over the white fabric. His erection grew even harder at the sight. She was teasing him and she didn't even know it. 

When he figured that this could end embarrassingly, he moved up to face her. Her face was flush, her lips parted and swollen. He kissed her hungrily. 

She spread her legs wider apart and tried to let him know what he wanted. He got the picture. With all the gentleness he could muster, he entered her body. It was wonderful. He had almost forgotten how good she felt. Savoring the moment, he moved out of her slowly, thrusting back in even slower. She pressed her head back to the pillow and let out another moan that drove him crazy. 

"Sweet?" he asked her, his voice almost not carrying him through. 

She moaned and tried to smile. 

He repeated the movement and knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up like that. 

She wrapped her legs around his body and he was lost. His thrust got quicker and her body responded with an equal passion. She whispered his name in his ear and he could feel the muscles tighten around him. Already, he was surprised. He gave her all that he could, sliding one arm around her waist. She came with an intense orgasm, bucking against him, disturbing his pace. Seconds later, his hot semen filled her inside and he shivered. 

* * *

They were definitely the talk of the office. It was painful, but Mulder was dealing with it the best as he could. He had always been observed and talked about by the other agents, but this was different. 

"Look who just entered the cafeteria," an agent whispered to his partner, Mulder nearby. 

Mulder looked up, seeing Krycek and Scully coming in together. He was surprised. With all the rumors that were circulating around them, he'd thought they'd keep a low profile and stay out of the public eye. 

Mulder looked over at Ben sitting opposite from him. Neither Scully nor Krycek knew he had been working with Ben; he had tried to keep it quiet and as far as he was concerned, he had managed to do so. This day, there had been no time to take lunch anywhere else than in the building. 

Krycek knew that everybody was observing them but tried to seem as if he didn't. The best thing would be to just ignore them -- pretend like there was nothing to see. 

Ben had started to wonder what everybody was whispering about, turning to find the couple of the week walking past their table. He glanced worriedly at Mulder, who looked as if someone had stabbed a knife through his heart. 

People were paying attention. 

Scully looked up from the notes in her hand, surprised to see Mulder sitting ahead. 

He turned his gaze away from them as she noticed him and turned to the man who was sitting opposite him. 

From where she was sitting, she could only see his back, but she had the feeling she knew who it was. Probably the new agent he was working on that case with. She hadn't learned who he was yet; she honestly didn't want to know. It was just a part-time thing. 

"Alex, don't look." She leaned over the table, trying to look as if she were saying something less personal. "But Mulder is sitting a few rows behind you." 

He flinched but she had expected that. It was better if he were prepared before he saw him. They knew that they were being watched too carefully. 

"Is he alone?" he asked, very surprised over the fact that Mulder was eating in the cafeteria. 

"No, there's someone with him," she told, trying to look but being discreet. "I can't see who it is, he's got his back turned this way --" 

She noted from the corner of her eye that they were getting up to leave and tried to be discreet again as she looked to see who his friend was. The answer took her off guard. 

"Do you see who it is?" he wanted to know, resisting the urge to turn around and see for himself. 

"Uhm," she didn't know what to tell him. They were getting closer. 

Mulder could see her watching him as he neared their table. He knew that if he ignored them, that would only be more fodder for the gossips. The question was more if he cared. He didn't know. 

"Mulder," she said, giving him no choice but to stop. 

"Hi, Scully," he said, making an effort to smile but ignore Krycek. 

Krycek looked at him, offered him a smile but saw the tense look on his face and turned away. 

"Scully, Alex. Nice to meet you again." 

/That couldn't be, could it? / 

"Agent Julien," Scully said, her voice cold. "You're still here in Washington?" 

Krycek tried to hide his emotions as he looked up to meet Ben staring at him. He could see what was behind them and he felt a stab in his chest. What the hell was Mulder doing there with Ben? 

"Mulder and I are working on a case together," Ben explained and looked back at Scully. 

"Oh." She looked at Mulder, knowing she had to keep her cool. "So that was you," turning her gaze back at Ben. 

"Yeah," he smiled and then looked at Mulder. "That's me." 

Mulder met his eyes and knew the question there. He had to be wondering why Mulder hadn't told Scully who he was working with. 

"Weren't you finished with that case?" Scully asked, forcing Mulder to face her. 

"Well, yeah, but --" he looked briefly at Ben before looking back at her. "We decided to take a look at another case too." 

Krycek felt nauseated. This was more than he was ready to deal with. Ben and Mulder. He didn't even want to think of what that really meant. 

"We should get going, Mulder," Ben reminded him. "We got to follow that lead." 

"Yeah," Mulder agreed. 

He looked at Scully, seeing the hurt in her eyes, but didn't bother to look at Krycek. 

"See you around," Ben said with a smile, placing his hand on the small of Mulder's back to get him going. 

* * *

"Hey, Mulder, do you want a beer or something?" Ben shouted from the kitchen as he opened the fridge. 

"Yeah, sure." Mulder was engrossed in the file he was reading. 

Ben emerged from the kitchen with the beers and glasses, admiring the man sitting on his couch. He really had to control his feelings around him. It was hard to act after a 'script' that was easy to follow, but he figured it would pay off in the end. 

"So what do you think?" he poured Mulder's glass and handed it to him. "Think it could be something there?" 

"Maybe -- uh, thanks." He put the file back on the table to take the glass to take a sip. "It's interesting." 

"It sure is," Ben agreed and took a sip of his own. 

The two men grew silent for a moment. It was comfortable sitting in Ben's apartment like this, drinking beer, talking about the case. They worked well together and Mulder was enjoying his company. Strangely enough, being with Ben made him think less about Scully and Krycek. 

"Ben, I need to ask you something," Mulder started cautiously. 

When he'd been over at Ben's place for the first time, he had grown a little suspicious to how he could have such an expensive apartment on an FBI salary. Naturally, he'd done a little background check on him to see if there was something to worry about. What he'd found out was that his parents had died when he was rather young, leaving him with a great deal of money. A couple of days afterward, Ben himself had told Mulder about this, obviously used to people wondering about it. This had given Mulder a reason to trust Ben to a certain point. 

Lately, he'd found out about some other things that had awakened his suspicion again. Some of the agents had been talking about how Ben had misplaced information in a case that they'd worked on a year ago. He had tried to find out more about it but failed. It troubled him that he didn't know the entire story and he knew that it would affect their working relationship on this case if he didn't find out. 

"Shoot." Ben smiled, looking charming. 

"Well," Mulder said, smiling back, feeling a little foolish to be snooping around. "I heard something about that Metcalf case you were working on last year here in Washington. Something about you misplacing evidence. I just wondered what that was about. " 

Ben looked down in his beer. Of course he would find out. He'd prepared this one. 

"Yeah, well, whatever they say, right?" 

Mulder didn't really follow. 

"I take it it's not true." 

"No, it's not." Ben shook his head with a more serious expression. "They just wanted to get rid of me, so --" 

"Get rid of you?" Mulder was surprised. "Why would they want that?" 

Ben rubbed his forehead. Here it came. 

"Well, I guess there is no need to be beating around the bush with this. I figure Alex already told you," he said, noting Mulder's reaction as he referred to Krycek. "I wasn't really hiding the fact that I was gay and they weren't exactly accepting it. So they did what they could to transfer me." 

Mulder didn't know what to say. They'd never brought any of that up. Neither the fact that they were gay or their relationship toward Krycek. Not that he'd said that, but they both knew how it was; it would be ridiculous to ignore that they didn't. 

"I was actually a little negative about coming back -- you know how things like that sticks to you," he continued, knowing that Mulder could adjust just fine to that. "Not that I care. I'm not ashamed of what I am." 

Mulder was surprised over how alike they were. It wasn't something he'd expected. There was something about Ben that made it easy to trust him. He never seemed as if he was hiding anything, always had a direct answer to everything. When he thought about it, there wasn't anything he suspected about the guy and if there was, he wasn't afraid to ask about it. 

"How about you?" Ben asked. 

"Well, 'Spooky' is getting a little old," he said with a grin. "But I guess I'm getting used to it." 

Ben nodded and looked down in his glass. Either Mulder was avoiding the real question or he didn't understand what he was getting at. 

"It doesn't bother me," he told him truthfully. "I think it's unimportant what people think about you when it comes to the things we believe in. I know what it means coming forward with something they don't accept and I know that you lose a lot of support and a lot of friends. But the friends who stay and the people who do accept you are worth more." 

Their eyes met, understanding. 

"Now there is a truth." Mulder smiled. 

"Well, it's my truth," Ben smiled back. "It's just too bad it isn't everybody's truth." 

They were silent for a while. Mulder let it all sink in. Ben was not at all the person Krycek had made him up to be. 

"Mulder, I need to tell you something," Ben said after a while. "There is something I don't feel comfortable about here." 

Mulder looked at him, confused. 

"Alex told me that you two were seeing each other," Ben said and looked guilty. "I just thought you should know -- that I know and --" he rubbed his forehead. "This is a hard one." 

He met Mulder's eyes for what seemed to be the hundredth time that evening and saw the hurt in there. It wasn't very hard to see that he knew what was coming. 

"I'm sorry, Mulder, I just didn't know at the time." He shook his head. "I wouldn't have if I knew. I mean, I shouldn't have anyway. I knew where I would end up." 

Mulder kept looking at him, not saying anything. 

"I understand if you can't forgive me." Ben looked away before he decided to meet his eyes again. "And if you want to stop working on this case now, I'll understand. I'll just tell Skinner that --" he looked at the files at the table. "That I'll do it alone." 

Mulder took a deep breath. Some part of him felt a relief to have it out in the open. Not that he felt good about it; it still hurt, but Ben was at least being honest. 

"I don't know what else to say." Ben was getting a little at unease as Mulder didn't speak. "I should have known." 

Mulder looked at him."Known what?" 

Ben looked uncomfortable. "I take it Alex told you about us," he said, seeing Mulder nod. "Well, it didn't end in a pretty sight." 

"He told me." 

"He did?" Ben sounded surprised. 

"Yeah, he did." 

Ben smiled and shook his head. 

"What?" Mulder didn't see anything amusing in the subject. 

"I bet our stories are somewhat different," he explained. "What did Alex say?" 

"That you were fooling around." 

"I figured he would have said something like that." 

"So what is your story?" Mulder didn't see any reason to pull this out any further. 

Ben sighed again. He wanted to make it obvious that he was still in some kind of pain. 

"Alex is the sweetest, nicest guy you'd ever know. He knows just what to say, or what to do to make you think that he's that innocent." Ben looked at Mulder with a pained smile. "But I don't have to tell you that, do I?" 

Mulder swallowed. He didn't know if he was ready for this. 

"I'm sure you're also aware of the fact that things aren't always as they seem." Ben was playing by Mulder's rules and he knew it. "He had me fooled. Big time." 

Mulder waited. 

"You see, Alex has a problem sticking to the truth." Ben managed to sound uncomfortable. "And he also has some trouble staying faithful. So I should have known." 

Mulder didn't know what to reply what to think of this or even if to believe in it. 

"I don't expect you to take this in all at once and believe everything I've told you know. I can only tell you what I know and what I've learned. The rest you have to find out for yourself." 

For a while, he just looked at the other man. There wasn't much he could say. At least there was a connection to the story Ben was telling. The pieces fell in to place in this perspective and he didn't see any reason to why he should believe Krycek's words over Ben's. Ben had been truthful to him all along as far as he was concerned. Krycek hadn't. The choice wasn't very hard. 

* * *

She shivered as his hands were touching her body. Their kiss was hot and she felt her own desire rise. 

"Maybe we should wait until we get home," she whispered between the kisses when she got the chance to breathe. 

"Mhm," he mumbled with a smile and continued to kiss her with the same passion. 

Mulder doubted all the way up to the door. This was his office, but he was no longer comfortable going inside. He hadn't been here much lately, and certainly not when he knew she was in there. But he owed her this, to warn her from what could happen to her. He had to tell her about the real Alex Krycek. 

He swung the door open, not prepared for what he saw in there. He hadn't thought of the fact that Krycek could be there with her and he was not ready to see them together like that yet. A stab went through his chest as he watched them jolt apart, their faces flushed. 

"Mulder," Scully choked, managing to look first at Mulder and then at Krycek. "You scared us." 

"Well, I'm sorry then," he said coldly. "I just needed to get something down here." 

There was an awkward silence in the room. Scully noticed how Krycek tried to gain just the least bit of attention from Mulder, trying to make him look at him. Mulder didn't budge an inch. 

She reached for Krycek's hand and moved closer to him. Mulder noticed, pretending that he hadn't. It hurt. 

"How's the case getting along?" Scully asked, just to break the silence. 

"Fine," Mulder said and opened a drawer to his desk. 

Krycek was afraid to say anything, as he was afraid not to. He had a strong feeling he would be ignored. 

"What kind of case is it that you're working on?" he asked friendly. 

Mulder pretended not to have heard him, pulled out a file from a drawer and then looked at Scully. 

"Do you have a minute, Scully?" 

She stared at him. Krycek felt the tension grow; he figured Mulder wanted him out of there. He didn't exactly feel like he was welcomed. 

"I need to get back to work," he said, turning to Scully. "I see you later." 

"Yeah," she said, tiptoeing to give him a reassuring kiss. "I'll try and hurry." 

He held her hand until he had to let it go and made a last attempt to make eye contact with Mulder. As soon as he was out of the room, Mulder looked up. 

"Mulder, can I ask you what the hell you're doing?" Scully snapped as soon as the door closed behind Krycek. "What is with you?" 

"Oh, I'm fine," he said, sarcastic. "I don't think that you should worry about me." 

"And what is that suppose to mean?" 

He held her gaze for a while. 

"I just think you should watch out where you have him Scully. He's not who you think he is." 

"Says who?" She was getting really upset. "Ben?" 

His jaws clenched. 

"If you trust him over Alex, I think you need to think things through." 

"How can you say that? You don't even know Ben." 

"No, but I know Alex." Her eyes grew softer. "And you should too." 

Mulder shook his head and smiled out of irony. Of course, Krycek had managed to fool her too. Just as he had with Ben and himself. 

"I came down here to tell you this, as a friend, because I owe you this," he said as he continued to look at her. "I shouldn't have bothered." 

She felt that he really believed what he was saying and it scared her. Not because she doubted Krycek but because she was afraid what Mulder really thought of him. What Ben had made him believe. She watched him leave. 

* * *

"Agent Mulder, have a seat," the assistant director nodded toward the chair in front of him. 

Mulder looked over the desk at his supervisor, sensing why he had been called in. It wasn't like him to be away from his X-files voluntarily, especially not this long. 

"I take it you know why I asked you to come," Skinner started, seeing the younger man nod slowly. "You've done an excellent job with Agent Julien, but I am reassigning you back to work with the X-files and agent Scully." 

He squirmed in his seat. He wasn't ready for this yet. 

Skinner looked through his papers, pondering if to ask his next question or not. He didn't like interfering in his agents' personal lives, but when he felt that it had an effect on their work, it felt more like an obligation. 

"Agent Mulder, I want to ask you something off the record," he said, eyeing the younger man. "Is everything okay?" 

Always discreet. Of course, Skinner had to wonder like everybody else. 

"Yes," Mulder said, acting as if it really was. "Everything is just fine." 

Skinner looked doubtful. Not that he had thought that Mulder would confide in him, but he could tell when he wasn't being honest. 

"I trust you'll finish up with Agent Julien and then return to your regular position," he said, quickly going back to the subject. 

"I'll be back in the basement on Monday, sir." 

* * *

Mulder had sworn to himself that their relationship wasn't going to interfere with the X-files. In the beginning it hadn't, but he couldn't help feeling uncomfortable sitting there with her the way things were. 

The mere thought of leaving Scully alone felt too unsettling. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep away from her, and he needed to keep his distance. Neither did he want her to appeal to him, a fact that was almost too ridiculous to ignore. 

Seeing out of the corner of his eyes how she was gathering herself to talk to him, he thanked his lucky stars that his phone rang just in time. 

"Mulder." 

"Hi, it's me." Ben sounded cheerful. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." 

"No, not at all. What's on your mind?" 

"I'm alone on an interesting case and I thought, hey, this is just up Mulder's alley. Would you mind taking a look at it?" 

"Sure, Scully and I just closed a case, so I don't have anything right now. Do you want me to come up?" 

"I was thinking more of --" Ben paused before continuing. "I mean, maybe we could discuss it over dinner?" 

"Dinner?" Mulder asked, surprised. 

"Yeah, if you're interested." 

After a short silence, Mulder answered. 

"Yes, I'm interested." 

"Great -- by the way, do you need a lift?" 

Mulder looked at Scully briefly, considering Ben's offer. 

"Yeah, I could use a lift. Around six?" 

"Meet me at the parking lot." 

* * *

After a short tour to the lab, Scully lunched with Krycek in the Bureau cafeteria. Krycek was in a good mood since he and Cardinal had just closed a case that two other agents from the VCS had failed to solve. 

"When do you get off tonight?" she asked, swallowing a bite of her sandwich. 

"I don't know -- it depends on how much paperwork there is." 

"I was hoping we could spend some time together. It haven't been that much this week." 

"I know, but I can promise you my full attention this weekend," he said, giving her an affectionate smile. "Can't you spend the night anyway?" he continued, then lowering his voice. "I'd love to have you next to me tonight." 

Scully replied in the same low tone of voice. 

"You might just have that." 

Krycek raised his coffee mug, noting a couple of agents two tables away paying them some attention. He cleared his throat, returning his gaze to her. 

"How's Mulder?" 

Scully shifted in her seat. She didn't want to tell him what she'd overheard while Mulder had been on the phone with Ben. 

"He seems to be doing fine." 

Krycek nodded, knowing she was holding back. He didn't want to pressure her; he just needed to know if he was okay. 

* * *

The cab driver, a man in his late forties, tossed his passenger a quick glance in the rearview mirror before shifting his attention back to the road. 

"Some weather we got, huh?" he muttered, referring to the pouring rain. 

"Yeah," replied Mulder, his eyes on the dark night, thinking about his earlier indecision about what to wear. 

After the shower, he hadn't been able to find anything proper to wear. A pair of old jeans seemed so dull. But he didn't want to overdo it either. It took him quite some time to sort through the amazingly deep pile of laundry he'd been stacking on his couch, just to find a pair of fairly new jeans to go with a not-so-wrinkled black T-shirt. 

As the cab driver took a left turn, Mulder recognized the neighborhood of expensive brownstones and townhouses. 

"It's a fancy neighborhood you live in, mister," the cab driver spoke, pulling over. 

"I don't live here." Mulder paid the man. "Keep the change." 

He hurried inside to avoid getting too wet. Once inside, he shook off the raindrops that had managed to land on him and headed for the elevator. The butterflies in his stomach came to his attention as he waited for the elevator to arrive. Ever since the invitation earlier that day, Mulder had argued with himself whether to call it a date. It wasn't the first time he'd been at Ben's place, but it was their first dinner together there. He sighed impatiently and pushed the elevator button once more. 

Ben had just finished setting the table and took a step back to scrutinize his work. With an approving smile, he felt satisfied and tossed off the towel he'd been using as an apron. He had decided that as soon as he got a chance, he would make his first move. He felt that he'd been waiting far too long. 

When the doorbell rang, the watch on his arm got a moment of his attention before he went to open the door. 

"Mulder, c'mon in." 

"Thanks." He wriggled out of his leather jacket. "I hope I'm not too late?" 

"You're not late at all. Here, let me take that for you." He took the jacket and hung it up. 

Mulder followed him into the kitchen. The room was dimly lit by two small wall lamps, but he found it comfortable. 

"Would you like to take a look at the case before we eat?" Ben asked. 

"It can wait." 

"Well, I gotta uncork the wine bottle anyway, so go ahead and glance through it." 

Ben handed Mulder the file that had been lying on the counter. He watched him flip through the pages for a little while, then attended to the bottle of wine. It amazed him how the guy could by just flipping through the pages to absorb all the information. 

Hearing Ben win the fight with the bottle, Mulder closed the map and put it back onto the counter. 

"Did it appeal to you?" Ben asked, pouring the liquid into two glasses. 

"Yes, it did, but I think you could have handled it by yourself." 

"Well, I just thought it would be wise to let someone with a little more expertise in the area take a look at it." 

He gestured for him to sit down and then seated himself opposite. They began eating under a quiet conversation about the case, discussing ways to go about it. 

Rinsing down some of the pasta with the wine, Mulder commended Ben for his cooking skills. 

"You're a better cook than I'd hoped for." 

Ben's eyes widened and he tried to sound a bit hurt; "You actually doubted my skills in the kitchen?" 

Laughing at his choice of expression, Mulder continued, "Thinking about my own skills in my 'hell hole' of a kitchen, I kind of assumed the same of you." 

"I guess with Alex in the kitchen, you get spoiled easily." 

"Yeah, you do." Mulder swallowed some more of the red wine. 

After dinner, they cleared the table and doing the dishes. Ben could feel Mulder's curious eyes watching him every time he turned his back. He enjoyed it. That meant he would have a fairly good chance of getting somewhere that evening. Resting comfortably on the couch together with their wineglasses, Ben brought the case up again. 

"I found the murders a little peculiar -- why does the guy change his act every time he kills? Every serial killer has his or her special style. Could it be a copycat." He continued, "I know the answer is right there in front of me -- I just have to open my eyes and look for it." 

He was resting his head in his hand, and with his head tilted he could capture Mulder's gaze without a problem. Recklessly, he could stare for however long he needed and there was no chance for Mulder to pull away. Having such power over him, knowing he could imprison him whenever it pleased him, aroused him just as much as it did to stare back into those eyes that for some reason always seemed to be so sad. 

Mulder wanted so badly to leave at this point. He felt himself paralyzed beyond control and it scared him. He was such an easy target when he was out of control. He knew that by experience. But Ben's eyes kept luring him into the same trap over and over, and he never seemed to learn from his mistakes. Ben's eyes had something special about them that he couldn't argue about. He was relieved when he was released from his prison, and after another sip of wine, he exhaled quietly. 

"How're things at the office?" Ben asked calmly. 

"It's, uhm -- it's fine." 

Ben nodded, putting his glass away. "You know, Mulder --" inhaling, he moved a little closer. "Would you take offense if I told you I find you really interesting in a lot of ways?" 

Mulder swallowed hard, noting the change in Ben's voice. Just as dangerous as his eyes. 

"No, I wouldn't take offense." 

"Good." He let a short embarrassed laugh escape him. 

"I should tell you that I used the case as a pretext to get you here tonight. I'm telling you this because I know how much trust means to you, and I wouldn't want to betray your trust." 

Mulder felt his gaze being drawn into that same paralyzing state once more. Everything around him started to fade. He wasn't aware of Ben's hand moving in his direction until he felt it resting gently on his own arm. 

"I find you to be a very attractive man, but what I haven't figured out yet is if it's your dedication and total devotion to your job or if it is your confidence in trust. Because it can't be just your appearance, even though as I said before, you're very attractive." 

Ben's words traveled like poison in Mulder's veins, cluttering his mind, leaving him totally exposed. Ben had moved closer again and he could feel his hot breath against his skin. It was a familiar feeling, a feeling he had missed. Another man's body heat, something he'd been feeling empty without. 

/I wish he could touch me again, just once, please God, I need a man's touch. What am I thinking? I don't know what I want more or less what I need. / 

Mulder tried to sort out his thoughts, but Ben's moving hand made it difficult. His hand had passed his shoulder and he could feel it brush past his neck, causing the hair back there to rise. It stopped next to his cheek, and the touch was gentle yet powerful, sending a warm sensation through him. Mulder wet his lips. His heart pounded and his breathing quickened when Ben leaned in closer, capturing his gaze once more. He couldn't budge, just sat there, feeling Ben's hand on his cheek. 

Their lips came together slowly. Mulder felt himself being drawn into the kiss, and he parted his lips slightly, waiting for Ben to make the next move. 

Ben had waited for a resistance that didn't come. Instead, he took it as an affirmative to go further. Letting his tongue carefully slip through the parted lips, he deepened the kiss, exploring new grounds. Ben lingered his tongue against Mulder's, tasting him, then drew away, surprised, as Mulder clung to him, sucking on his lips with greed before allowing Ben to pull away. 

Mulder gaze dropped to his lap, interpreting the silence as a comfortable one. In a way, the kiss had done him good; he was feeling more secure about himself, even though he still didn't know what he wanted. 

They both cleared their throats. 

"Yeah --" Mulder said, a little embarrassed. 

"What about that case, huh?" Ben reached out for the file. 

* * *

After sitting 20 minutes in the car, Krycek had finally decided to go in. Most of that time had been used to ponder about whether to go in. Now, when he stood outside Mulder's door, he realized he had nothing to say to him. 

Knocking on the door, his confidence faltered, remembering all the doors that Mulder had slammed in his face. They were starting to feel like bad reruns on TV. 

He knocked on the door once more, wondering why Mulder didn't open. There was no way he could know it was him; he'd blocked the peephole. Krycek took a step closer to the door, listening for any noise from the other side that would let him know Mulder was in there. 

/Where could he be?/ Krycek asked himself, glancing at his watch that showed 9:30. 

The thought of using his key and going inside was a tempting one. He knew he had no right doing so but managed to convince himself. 

"Maybe he's hurt," he said, even realizing just how ridiculous that sounded. 

He took out his keys and started to fumble with the lock. There was no turning back now. He swung the door open. 

The apartment was dark, but he could see that Mulder wasn't in there. Stepping aside, he let his gaze wander around the living area, noting how everything was how it used to be. His eyes caught sight of a shirt tossed on the couch. Grabbing it, he felt the scent of Mulder lingering around him. He brought it closer to his face to feel it stronger. 

For a few long seconds, he stood there, inhaling Mulder's scent as if it were a drug, a habit he couldn't kick. The mere thought of parting from it didn't make it to his conscience. It was just a shirt, nothing Mulder would miss. Placing it under his jacket, he felt a little ridiculous as he realized that this was probably the first time he'd ever stolen anything in his life. 

/This is more like a loan, / he assured himself. 

Under his jacket, the scent of Mulder could be preserved without being threatened by the rain. 

It wasn't until he was sitting in his car that he picked up the shirt again and placed it on the passenger seat. Just as he was about to start the car, he noticed that a car was parked on the other side of the street. Thanks to the street light, he could see the shadow of two men inside. The one by the driver seat leaned in to kiss the other, not letting him leave the car at once. When he did let him go and the man opened the door, the lights inside the car lit up. 

Krycek swallowed his tears and once again brought the shirt to his face. 

* * *

Mulder let Ben into the mess that was his apartment and smiled in excuse to that he wasn't completely ready yet. 

"Just wait here. I'll be ready in two seconds," he promised, rushing back into the apartment for his jacket. 

Ben smiled and let his eyes wander over as much as he could take in before Mulder disappeared again. The man sure looked great in a tuxedo. 

"I see you found a tux after all," Ben shouted into the apartment. 

"Yeah." Mulder nodded inside the bathroom, still not really sure where he'd put his jacket. "I guess I had a stroke of luck." 

He looked around the small area and then headed out to search for the jacket around the couch. It had to be there somewhere, he was sure of it. Going through the piles, he found it tossed over his desk chair. 

"Ready?" Ben asked as Mulder came back, pulling on the jacket in the process. 

Mulder nodded and straightened his sleeves. 

"Do I pass?" Mulder gave him a charming smile. 

Ben reached out to grab the collar of Mulder's jacket, pulling him closer. He leaned in for a kiss, amazed at what soft lips Mulder always seemed to have. 

"You look wonderful," he told him and gave him another kiss. 

Mulder looked into Ben's eyes and it stoked him like thunder. He found himself wishing that it were Krycek standing there instead of Ben. The hands against his chest would have felt so much better if they'd belonged to him; the lips would have felt so much sweeter. But no. He felt guilty for wishing this after all that had happened. How could he possibly long for Krycek? 

"Are you all right?" Ben sounded worried. 

"Yeah." Mulder felt as if he was lying, which he was. 

"If you don't want to go, I'll understand," Ben said, forcing him to meet his gaze again. "I know that there will be a lot of talk. Especially now since they've gone public with the fact that they are seeing each other." 

Mulder sighed; hoping that Ben couldn't read the thoughts behind his eyes. 

"It's okay," Mulder assured him. "I'll be fine." 

He wasn't buying it. 

"Besides, I wouldn't miss celebrate Johnson's retirement any day of the year," he added. 

Ben swallowed, not sure if he should ask. 

"Aren't you afraid they'll start talking if we show up together?" 

Mulder looked at him and smiled amused. He leaned in for a kiss and shook his head. 

"Come on." He moved away to get his trench coat. "If we're late, they'll notice fore sure." 

Ben smiled and turned to open the door. This should be quite interesting. 

* * *

Krycek helped her with her coat, trying to make it less obvious that he was scanning the room for Mulder. The fact that they had gone out with this as a public announcement kept their thoughts off Mulder's appearance. 

"Let's go in, Alex." Scully put her hand on his shoulder. 

He offered her his arm. They were definitely going to be the center of attention -- Scully, at least, in that tight black evening gown. He had a hard time keeping his eyes off her himself. 

They entered the dining room, seeing out of the corner of their eyes at how people turned to look at them as they looked for their table. It felt as if they were back in high school again. Of course, they'd expected it. 

"We don't have to stay too late, do we?" Scully leaned into whisper, trying to ignore the fact that people actually were staring. 

Krycek smiled at her and gave her arm a little squeeze. He didn't want to make it too obvious, but he was still looking around for Mulder. 

"Alex," a friendly voice said. 

They turned around to see Cardinal smiling at them. He didn't look too comfortable in a tuxedo. Scully failed to see anything appealing about the man even dressed up. 

"Luis." Krycek smiled. "Are you here alone?" 

"Yes." He looked at Scully. "But you're not." 

Scully forced a smile. /Be polite, Dana/ 

"I guess I should have told you, huh?" Krycek felt a little guilty for not having said anything to his partner. 

"It's okay," Cardinal assured him. "It's no problem." 

Scully looked around the room as Krycek and Cardinal were talking. She didn't want to be a part of the conversation, but she didn't want Krycek to understand that she was avoiding talking to his partner. As she scanned the room, she noted that Mulder had just passed through the front door. Her breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of him. 

He turned to wait for whoever he was arriving with and she was careful not to stare; she tried to make it look as if she was looking at something else, following his movements out of the corner of her eye. 

/Please tell me he's not waiting for anyone. He could've come alone./ 

In the flick of a second, she saw Ben coming up from behind, smiling at Mulder and then very discreetly smoothing his hand over Mulder's. She blinked and forced herself to look away. 

She didn't know why she was so surprised. Krycek had told her what he had seen that night in the car, but somehow, she didn't want to believe it. It was too unreal, too unlike Mulder. 

"Alex." She pulled a little at his arm. "Maybe we should find our table." 

When they started walking, he noticed how tense she'd become. Probably because of all the attention they were getting. It would ease once they'd been there a while. 

"Here it is." He nodded at the table in front of them. 

Once seated, she fought with how to break it to him. She knew she had to; it would be much worse if he found out otherwise. 

"Alex." She leaned in close. 

He looked at her. 

"Mulder's here," she told him, noting at once the change in his expression. 

"Where?" he wanted to know, feeling his heart beat faster. 

"I don't know." She swallowed hard. "I saw him as he came." 

He looked at her, hopeful. 

"I'm going to talk to him tonight," he told her with excitement. "I want to sort this out." 

"Alex --" 

"No, I know what you're going to say, but I need to give it another try, I --" 

"Alex, he's not here alone." She could hardly look at him. "He came with Ben." 

He went silent, staring at her in shock. 

"Scully and Alex are here," Ben leaned in to inform Mulder. 

Mulder nodded. He had picked that up himself but appreciated that Ben tried to give him a little warning. This would be one long night. 

"At least we didn't have to sit at the same table," Mulder commented, trying to sound as if it didn't bother him that much. 

Actually, it was almost the first thing he'd seen as he'd entered the room. They'd been talking to Cardinal, and Scully had been standing quietly by Krycek's side, her arm tucked under his. She was so beautiful tonight. That dress she was wearing emphasized her soft body, those feminine curves he knew so well. As if he needed to be reminded. 

Then Krycek, in that tux. His heart jolted as he'd seen him. /You need to stay as long away from him as possible tonight. From both of them. / 

The night proceeded like that. They ignored each other, still secretly keeping an eye on what was going on. Mulder tried to talk to Ben as much as he could, knowing that he needed something to keep him from staring. 

"Still staring, huh?" 

Krycek nodded and held her closer as they moved slowly over the dance floor. People tried to be discreet but weren't doing such a good job with it. Probably the only excitement they had all night. 

"I was thinking," he whispered against her hair and made an effort to keep his voice low. "I think I should talk to him anyway. When Ben isn't around." 

She tilted her head to look at him. "Don't," she breathed. He'd only end up hurt again. 

"I'll see how the night turns out," he decided, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "If the time is right, I'll might give it a try." 

Searching for his hand, she gave it a squeeze. She wanted him to know that he had her support. It just broke her in two to see him hurt again. 

"I'll go ask him to dance later," she told him and placed her head back against his chest. "Maybe I can get something through." 

He hugged her gently and nuzzled her hair. It gave him some hope. 

"Scully's coming this way," Ben leaned in to whisper, spotting the red-headed woman head toward them. 

Mulder felt the panic rise within. He didn't want to talk to her. 

He'd seen them out on the dance floor together earlier. They'd looked beautiful together. They always looked beautiful together. 

"Mulder." 

Turning to face her, he had to fight hard not to show her how stunned he was. She was wearing just a little bit more makeup than usual, and with her hair up, she really did look amazing. 

"Scully." 

"Would you like to dance?" she went right to the subject, not even gracing Ben with a hello. 

He looked at her, surprised. He hadn't expected this. This was dangerous. But he couldn't turn her down in front of all these people. After all, he did still love her. 

Her heart started racing as his eyes met hers. He held her gaze for a while then stood. 

Holding her that close against him gave him a painful memory of how good her body felt. The fabric of her dress didn't cover her back and he could feel goosebumps break out on her skin at his touch. All of a sudden, he was very aware of her familiar scent and wondered if she realized what she did to him. 

She tightened her hold on him and buried her face against his chest. He had to feel something. Anything. He was holding his breath, she could tell. 

When her body tried to get closer to him, he felt himself reacting to it. The feel of her soft curves in his arms, together with the scent of her perfume, was a dangerous match. If he hadn't loved her as much as he did, he would have left her there on the floor. Now he tried his best not to have her notice his growing arousal. 

As soon as she shifted, she could feel his erection against her. She took a sharp breath and felt her knees buckle. This was too much. 

She looked up to meet his gaze, the desire in them too evident. 

"Mulder," she heard herself whisper, her voice thick. 

"No," he knew what she was getting at. "Just go, Scully. Leave me standing." 

"What do you mean?" 

He scanned the room. People were paying attention. 

"I don't want to make it look as if I'm leaving you standing here, Scully." He saw the pain in her eyes. "Just push me away and go." 

"And make it look as if I'm leaving you standing here?" 

Their eyes locked and they grew silent. 

"I don't want to do that," Scully whispered with the tears in her throat. "I don't want to leave you." 

"Scully --" 

"No, Mulder." She tried her best to hold it together. "I love you so much, I can't even --" she tried to swallow the tears in the back of her throat. "Even if he did do anything -- this is not right." 

"Well, it's how it is," he told her, not able to meet her gaze again. "And I can't change it." 

"Yes, you can." She sensed a hope. "You can change all of it." 

He shook his head. 

"I can't." 

Placing his hand on her right cheek, he leaned in to kiss her forehead, giving her hair a last caress before he left her on the dance floor. 

* * *

Next Morning 

"Would you mind getting that?" Ben shouted as his eggs were about to burn in the frying pan. 

"Sure." Mulder grinned and smoothed Ben's arm as he walked past. 

He unchained the door, not even taking the time to look at who was standing outside as he opened it. 

They stared at each other, surprised. Krycek had lost the ability to speak. 

Mulder was wearing a pair of sweatpants, no shirt, and his hair still damp from the shower. 

"Who is it?" Ben shouted from the kitchen, trying to save the last of the eggs that survived. 

Krycek met Mulder's eyes, feeling his heart stuck in his throat. He felt the tears brim under his eyelashes as he turned to walk out of there. 

Continued........................ 

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Ocean Summers and Sage ONeil 


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